Pairing was something I was initial afraid to do. It was another opportunity to expose my knowledge, or lack there of, to others in an environment where I could be critized. In prior pairing sessions, my experiences were not pleasant and seemed a waste of at least one person's time. The person driving did all the work and the other person was left out of the process other than to watch and do small talk. But at Dev Bootcamp, I have learned how to pair correctly. We start with a check in routine. Each person says 'Hi' and introduces themselves if the two have not met before. Then they say how they are feeling and if there is anything going on with them that might impact the pairing session. From this opening, I understand the other person I am there with, and my interactions with them are kinder because of this start. It seems to change the dynamic from them being a stranger, to being more like a friend. We then start the pairing session knowing that we will be trading roles of navigator and driver, where both of us will contribute equally to the solution.

In the pairing sessions at Dev Bootcamp, I have noticed a change in how people pair since we started a few weeks ago. They started with little talking and less idea sharing, to now they are much more interactive, with sharing of ideas and experimenting and very good communication. That is not because we are getting to know each other better, as most of my pairing sessions are with people I have never paired with before. Its because we are getting better at pairing. In one of my first pairing sessions, my pair was driving and really did not listen to my input. In another, I know that I was very strong in pushing how I thought the code should be written. You could tell that none of us really were enjoying these sessions as we butted heads over what to do. In my latest pairing sessions, the interactions are working better and you can sense that both people are getting a little excited as we work on a solution, and it makes us both feel good about what is happening. Sometimes I learn something new from the other person, or we both do from experimenting. Other times I can be the one teaching something to my pair.

The key to becoming a better pair is getting feedback on what you are doing that could be improved, and on what you are doing right. At Dev Bootcamp, we have the Socrates system where we post feedback on our pairing session. Our only guide lines are to be specific, actionable, and kind. The feedback is given anomously, so it is ok to say what you think the other person needs to hear. At first, the feedback I gave was either too vague, or too kind, as in no ciriticism. But we also have to rate other people feedback, and that gives insight into what others, especially more experienced pairing people, are saying. From that I now know what to look for in a pairing session, and what my pair will look for. For example, if I need to look something up on Google, in early pairing sessions, I might say "I need to Goole this" and then everything got quiet while I searched and checked out a few pages. Now I will share my screen, and talk through what I am looking for and why, and my pair can participate in the search, as if we were sitting together. I can give more meaningful, specific and actionable feedback, like "when you are searching, I need you to keep talking to me about what you are doing, and seeing, when you are researching something on Google so I know can still be part of the process." That is specific, actionable and still kind criticism, the kind that I would not mind receiving.

Since learning to how to pair and give feedback, I look forward to pairing as a positive experience where I can share with and learn from others. The pairing sessions seems to make the coding go easier now, instead of being a stresssful experience. And I think the solutions are better than one person alone can produce. With feedback, I not only get what things I need to improve on as a pair and programmer, but more importantly, I get positive feedback that makes me feel more confident as a coder and pair. In giving feedback, I am aware that giving feedback will have a similar effect on those I have paired with, so I keep in mind to be specific and actionable, while also being kind.